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News

Coworker Really Goes Balls Out With Quarterly Sales Presentation

Brandon Stangl

Bradley Haney, associate sales director for west coast regional distribution, drops some serious fucking knowledge on his coworkers during his Q4 review last Friday.  

Bradley Haney, associate sales director for west coast regional distribution, drops some serious fucking knowledge on his coworkers during his Q4 review last Friday.  

After hitting the management team with a jaw dropping PowerPoint presentation which could only be described as a full-scale attack on the senses, Bradley Haney, associate sales director for west coast regional distribution, went for the kill when he pulled out the white board and dry erase markers during his quarterly sales review, and began free styling pie charts at will. Team lead, Cheryl Mitz, was seen staggering from Conference Room 2 upon the conclusion of Bradley’s Q4 review. “I’ve never seen anything like it. It was a whirlwind in there. Concise slides, surprising transition animations, and font choices that kept you on the edge of your seat. Then, out of nowhere, he started laying down knowledge on the white board. Incredible.”

Witnesses around the office reported seeing Bradley in the fucking zone when he arrived nearly 45 minutes earlier than normal. “I could tell he was going balls out with his PowerPoint when I walked past his desk this morning,” said Tony Tabor, engineering lead. “On one screen he was pulling together crazy sales data from excel, and on the other dropping clip art from the web like a mad man.”

When asked to comment after his triumphant finale, which included a slide with a large question mark illustration to indicate it was time for questions, Bradley simply looked up to the water stained ceiling tiles above, shook his finger into the air and said “I’ve just got to thank the Man upstairs.” After the meeting, the office staff immediately contacted the cleaning crew and instructed them not to touch the white boards this week, or any in the future. Sources close to management indicate Conference Room 2 is now in plans to be converted to a memorial.