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News

School Budget Slashed: Paris Trip Cut Back To Paris-Paris Trip

Charlie

After months of planning and preparation Mrs. Rodriguez, Reno High School’s ninth grade French instructor, was disappointed to learn that the budget appropriated to help fund the student study abroad program was drastically slashed after an overwhelming majority vote from the district school board on Friday. The board, who has been notoriously conservative in recent years on items relating to extracurricular activities, areas of enrichment, or education, thought the money was better placed in repainting the school’s parking lots. 

“The kids were so excited to see Paris,” said Mrs. Rodriquez. ‘It would have really disappointed me to have had to break it to them. That’s why we decided to take them to Paris-Paris instead. Our social studies and geography courses are incredibly subpar. The kids have literally no idea how far away France is.”

With permission slips already signed and approved by administration, Mrs. Rodriquez loaded the students into the district bus, instructing the driver to circle the Nevadan desert for hours, before finally making a beeline to the Vegas strip. “I occasionally got on the radio and made announcements for our air speed and altitude, but what really got them was the plane noises I made as we banked through corners,” said senior district bus driver James Ruan. “These kids are special kind of gullible.”  

At press time, parents of the children were excited the trip remained on schedule. When asked if they were concerned the kids were not getting the same education value out of Paris-Paris, as Paris, most parents agreed their kids offered little in hope for a bright future. “I’m just glad my son is out of the fucking house,” explained one ecstatic father. “Paris-Paris has got more shit to see than that other Froggy ass version anyways,” said another. The parents unanimously agreed that getting an opportunity to see the intricate detail and history of the Bellagio far outweighed that of the Louvre.